i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
