I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
