were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
