i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
