She said her name was "party"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
