I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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