Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
