my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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