8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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