so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
