Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
