do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
