A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
