I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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