I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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