well I can't set my house on fire every night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
