brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
