there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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