Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
