I need help removing her.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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