i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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