Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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