That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
