My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize