never play flip cup with pint glasses
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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