Quick, to the slutcave!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
