I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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