is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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