can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
