yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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