Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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