apparently the secret to your success is patron
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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