so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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