dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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