Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
