quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
