I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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