Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
