I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are we still banned from the library?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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