He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
