I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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