i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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