I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
