remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
