Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
