they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What a dumb baby whore.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
