when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She bit a glass in half.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize