And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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