I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
