You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
