Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize