Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
