how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
