Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize