You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
