I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
