you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
