YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
