last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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