Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
