ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
