: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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