It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All I want is dick and wine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
