Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
