She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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