my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize