Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
