you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
