Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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