Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
