At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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