I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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