Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dignity is for republicans.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize